She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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