Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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