at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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