Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
