Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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