North Korea, Best Korea!
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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