I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
