Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
