I want to stick my p in your. b.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
