I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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