Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I have aggressive nipples.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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