good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
should my penis look like a turkey
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
