My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
