I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
