throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
