First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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