Fine. I'll sleep in my office
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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