Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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