i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
