i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm always down for nudity.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
