We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Are we still banned from the library?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
