before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
