carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
