I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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