Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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