I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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