I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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