So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
