i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
