let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
