this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
