please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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