I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
