But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
