They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
