dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
