I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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