Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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