And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
