If i come over, it means nothing
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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