so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
