help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
