You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
