Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
