Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize