Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
