Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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