Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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