Duck Duck Cougar?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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