i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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