Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
